"Oh sweet baby Jesus,..."

"...I was a total harpie!"

Hello children!

Well, this is my lame attempt at my long-awaited rant that I have been promising to come.

Two words: Christians suck!

Now, let me explain. We [Christians] have pretty much tainted the title of Christian. Some where along the way we screwed up and got lost in translation (and I do mean a literal translation). Somewhere we screwed up with what Jesus set as an example and commanded us to do. Everyone, all together now, what was it that Christ was and gave us as a command: Love! (Mt.22:36-40; Jn. 13:34-35, 15:12; 1 Jn. 3:23; etc.) Very good...very good.

So, why the [censor] are we hung up on tradition?! Why are we hung up on your dress for church and call it "respect for God"? Why are we so hung up on making things more complicated with rules and not simply living and loving our Creator?

Seriously? ...Seriously? (For all you Grey's fans...)

I grew up in a Southern Baptist church (and I still go to this church on a regular basis). The way I remember being raised in this church was that emphasis was placed on tradition -- and is sadly still, you can see and feel it. You do things because that is the way things have been done. You go to church because that's what you do if you're a Christian. You sing along with every song and disregard the words you are singing because you are supposed to sing, I mean, what if someone were to see you not singing, what would they think? If you don't wear a jacket and tie while you preach that is unacceptable and disrespectful to God. And my ever favorite, you become a Christian because that's what you do so you don't go to Hell.

Really? (I could keep going, but I do believe you have gotten the idea...)

Today (for Sunday morning church), I wore bluejeans and a T-shirt (not too unusual for me, the unusual was that I was off work and got to wear that). I still sang in the choir in front of the entire congregation; my normal Sunday routine. Wanna know what was on the front of my tee? UDP: Upper Deck Pub. (My parents brought me this shirt back from New England. I love it 'cause the style of it is like Hyde from That 70's Show...very kickin'.) Did I care? Heck to the no I didn't care (mainly because that is me). I told my mother that I almost wore my Doors T-shirt. She told me that may be pushing it, so I asked why. Her response: respect for God.

Really? Do we really believe that or is it so that some of the older members don't leave pee spots on the pews from shock?

I did wear my Doors tee to church one Sunday last year. One of the younger married adults saw it and asked why I wore it. "Because I like it. They had some pretty decent music." She then told me if I were to stand before Christ in that shirt that I would be embarrassed because there I would be in front of Christ in a Jim Morrison (he's dressed, not nakie) shirt. I looked at her and said, "No, not really. He'd probably look at me with no regard for the shirt and say, 'Rock on! You're here!' and we'd go walkin' into Heaven."

What if I were someone they didn't know. What if I didn't know Christ. What if I happened to pass by that church Sunday after Sunday and one day finally get enough courage to go in there wearing that same exact outfit? And, instead of feeling accepted and an overwhelming presence of love, I felt judgment because I wasn't in the appropriate clothing? I would walk out and God only knows if I would ever attempt to step another foot in another church.

The last I checked a suit and tie, dress pants, dress, business casual, a jacket, a button-up shirt, etc. were not a part of any requirement to come before the throne of God and worship Him.

Welcome to the House of Pharisees! Members jackets required.

We have become so concerned about our outward appearance that we are decaying inside (now why does that sound familiar?...).

27"Woe to you, teachers of the law and Pharisees, you hypocrites! You are like whitewashed tombs, which look beautiful on the outside but on the inside are full of dead men's bones and everything unclean. 28In the same way, on the outside you appear to people as righteous but on the inside you are full of hypocrisy and wickedness" (Matthew 23:27-28, NIV).

If we place more emphasis on a jacket and tie than on worshiping God, get rid of it. Get down on your knees at the prayer bench, in your pew, at the alter, at the foot of the cross and pray for 1) forgiveness for your idolatry and 2) for God to change your heart from the hardness that you have allowed tradition to form. That goes for anything in the church that you find yourself putting a stronger emphasis on over God.

I am not completely against tradition, don't think that I'm all for knocking it out completely.

I am for singing hymns. But! I am not for singing hymns (or any song) mindlessly and because if I don't sing along, someone will see and then what will they think. What will they think? Maybe they may just happen to think that you aren't singing because there is something in those lyrics that you are struggling with meaning right now because of something if your life and they are sparked to pray for you or even evaluate his/her own life. If anything you not singing is more of a testimony and witness than singing. Or, maybe they will simply think you don't enjoy singing, or that maybe you just don't feel up to singing that morning. Maybe you don't know that song very well. Who cares? Do you seriously think you are more important that they would rather pay attention to you than to worshiping God?

Maybe you had better not sing and fall on your face before the Almighty and repent if you are that concerned about what people may think of you not singing.

Hymns are roots. Today's praise music is inspired by the same things that inspired hymns. Hymns were the contemporary praise choruses of their time. I'm for them (every now and then...mix it up.).

I am for other traditions that are held because those are roots. They show where we have come from and how we got to where we stand now. Roots help you to stand firm and grow.

I can't think of specific traditions that I am for right now because I'm tired and having trouble making sense in my head so that it can be communicated properly.


My mom once told me (after I had a quick rant about our church and its strong emphasis on traditions) that maybe I should look for a different church if I had a problem with ours. That's not always the solution to a problem. First off, I don't feel/hear God directing me to leave and find a new church, and second, I see hope for our church. I see our church breaking free from the bondage of traditions that hold it down and keep it from growing and evolving into this amazing thing! I want to be a part of that revolution in the life of this church. It is in need of it and I want to be one of the warriors fighting for it; I refuse to see it crumble and die when it is able to fight. There are other warriors within this congregation who desire the same thing for our church and I refuse to leave them. God has not told me to leave, so I am staying.

(I just had the songs One Girl Revolution by Superchick and Million Voices by BarlowGirl run through my head...hahaha!)

Anyway. That's all I really have right now... This is just something that has been swelling up inside me and I needed to vent it.

I guess now the question I have to ask myself is, "What are you going to do with this?"

The End.

"When did we become adults?"

"...and, how do we make it stop?"

So, Monday night at the guys' flag football game, well...their second one that night, we saw a guy on the other team that looked JUST LIKE George O'Malley from Grey's! It was a-maze-ing. We kept trying to get a picture of him, but alas...we were foiled.

Oh well.

So, Becca tagged me on that whole Anagram Your Middle Name thingy... (Is that the right word? Anagram? Sounds like a test you have to have done...) So, you're supposed to come up with a word for each letter that describes you or your life at this point in time.

Anyway. My middle name is Broek, so...here we go.

B -- Bespectacled. I need to get my eyes checked so I can get new contacts and hopefully a new pair of glasses.

R -- Random. We're just gonna leave this one alone...

O -- Only child. Alas, I am an only child. So lonely, so very lonely... I am convinced I was a twin but that my mom had that whole Disappearing Twin Syndrome during the first month she was prego and aborted one. But, that's another story that she thinks I'm crazy for thinking... P.s., I think it was a boy too.

E -- Energetic. For some reason I will randomly get these winds of energy to dance about, jump about, run about, etc... I have absolutely no idea where it comes from.

K -- Kinetic: 1. of or resulting from motion 2. energetic or dynamic.

And that's that. So, now, I choose...hmm... Ashley M., Virginia T., and by some random chance Abby C.

The End.

"Obstacles are put in your way..."

"...to see if what you want is worth fighting for."

Hello children!

It is indeed another glorious day, mainly because I'm off work again tomorrow... Woo to the HOO!

I finished Captivating and, yes, I do recommend it to any one of the female persuasion 21 and up. In one of the chapters they talk about putting on the armor of God and also mention a friend who, every morning, prays on her armor when she is getting ready for her day. That struck me as odd. I'd never heard it put like that before. Thought it was cool because it was a part of her routine in getting ready, like she was putting her clothes on, brushing her teeth, etc.. Then I also got to thinking, "How exactly do you do that? How do you put on the armor of God?"

Well, I got to asking God how you do that and I decided that I would start with reading the passage and go from there. So, the other day I read the passage (Eph. 6:10-18) and then broke it down piece by piece. This is what I came up with:

Armor:

1. Belt of truth (v.14)
2. Breastplate of righteousness (v.14)
3. Feet fitted with readiness [shoes?] (v.15)
4. Shield of faith (v.16)
5. Helmet of salvation (v.17)
6. Sword of the Spirit [Word of God] (v.17)

What do each of these do?

1. Belts: (In war) hold extra ammunition and other supplies that you need to survive out on the battlefront. (In everyday) they keep your pants in place so you have less difficulty walking and less distraction from having to keep pulling them up.
2. Breastplates: protect your chest area (heart, lungs, ribs, stomach) from getting injured.
3. Shoes: protect your feet while walking; make it easier to endure walking/running.
4. Shields: protect you against things thrown at you; they block things.
5. Helmets: protect your head; your brain.
6. Swords: a weapon. If properly wielded it can be very powerful to the user and dangerous to anyone on the other end.

How are these specific pieces to protect me?

1. Belt of truth: It is what holds all the promises of God that are for my life; truths He has spoken to me, for me. These are promises I can hold on to and not doubt.
2. Breastplate of righteousness: It protects my heart from evil, human, desires; attacks against my heart that [should] desire the Spirit of God and His desires.
3. Feet fitted with readiness [shoes?]: A willingness to go when and where God leads/directs. A readiness to say, "Yes, Lord," when He tells me to follow and to trust Him.
4. Shield of faith: Faith that is strong can/will defend you from evil attacks. A strong faith cannot/will not waver. A strong faith is essential in battle!
5. Helmet of Salvation: [I had trouble with this one and I still do. I don't understand how a helmet and salvation go hand-in-hand.] Salvation is what drives you to keep going? Knowing is half the battle? Knowing, not just in your heart, but also in your mind?
6. Sword of the Spirit: It is useless if you don't familiarize yourself with it. Constant practice, make it another extension of your body.

Then, you come to v.18:

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

Soldiers have to stay alert to all their surroundings, if they do not they are more likely to fall into a trap. Not only are they to watch their own back, but also the backs of their fellow soldiers so that they too can stay out of the enemies snares.
Like soldiers, we have to be constantly aware of the dangers around us, the traps that lie waiting for us. We have to constantly pray in the Spirit so that we are in communication with God and so that our focus is on Him. We also need to pray for fellow believers so that they too will have an awareness of their surroundings, and also that they have another intercessor praying on their behalf; outside eyes see more.


After breaking this passage down I have finally been able to gain a better grasp on the whole putting on your armor. I can now actually appreciate this passage a lot more too!

The End.

"You will seek me and find me..."

"...when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13).

Well, it is finished...for today, at least. Between 1 and 3 p.m. today I spent time with God asking questions and just spending time with him to close out my fast. The following entries are taken from the journal I've been keeping during my quiet times.

1:00 - 3:00 p.m.
I am spending this designated time with God as the closing of my fasting. I want to hear Him. I want a revelation of what desire(s) He would have me ask of Him.
Could He possibly be showing me two desires? But, how can you possibly begin to ask for one thing when you feel/believe you are not ready to ask for it? Is that part of asking for that desire? It would have to be.... You have to give in completely to Him for Him to properly work in you (Journey of Desire, p. 24).

One desire was very obvious to me: To meet God! To have more of Him!

The thought of this desire made me smile and have this giddy feeling course through me...still does.

But, there was a second desire I felt stirring around inside of me...the one I wonder if I'm ready to ask for. I sat and thought about why I am hesitant about this one and was prompted to make a list. This list consists of five fears that keep me from asking for this desire. After writing my list I flipped through the pages of Journey of Desire and read over passages that I had highlighted. I wrote the following:

If I want to meet You, I have to go deep within my heart and search the very depths of my desire(s) (Journey of Desire, p. 35).
As frightening as that sounds, as much heartache and tears it will bring, for however long it will take...it burns a fire of longing to start the journey!

After thinking on this, I went back to my list of fears and began praying over each one. I felt as though I could breathe again! It was amazing how much lighter I felt going before God and confessing these fears and anxieties to Him...

An entire hour went by without me realizing it. It was pretty cool how that happened. By the time I reached 2:30 it finally felt like an hour had gone by.

The evening before I was sitting in my room dorking around on my guitar and from nowhere (but God) came a melody and then words. The first words that came were the beginnings of a praise chorus, and then a second set of words came that were a different type of praise chorus. The second set was more of a song for those burdened with weights we've allowed to claim us in our lives. The second set of words began to grow and soon became a complete song.

I'll be honest, I was shocked (and excited too) because I was hoping that maybe a song would produce itself from this experience, but wasn't positive it would. I wasn't planning on it, merely hoping.

I played this song a few times during my time alone today, not only to keep it fresh in my mind and try to ingrain it in me, but also to use as a tool for myself to worship and draw closer to God.

I was excited about this song. I began to grow impatient with time and wanted very much to share it with one or two people (one who knew about it, one who didn't). So, I called, with thirty minutes left to spare before 3 o'clock, I called. No answer from either person. I had to laugh. It was God telling me, "No. You said from 1 - 3 you were mine, no interruptions/contacts with anyone." And He was right.

I checked my watch at 3:01 and dialed once more. They answered the phone by the second ring. Hahaha! It had to be Him...holding me to my word.

I've decided to post the words of the new song in my post tonight. I am hoping to record it soon and then post it on my Myspace...no telling how long that will take though.

"Come"

All of you with broken hearts, bitter words and battle scars
Come
And, all of you whose love has gone
You cry at night for anyone
Come

'Cause there's One who is waiting to save you
From this burden that has claimed you
And one touch from His hand can fill your heart
With joy and life again
If you come

All of you, old and young, who have traveled down any road alone
Come
And, all of you who are sons and daughters, friends and lovers
Wanting to be discovered
Come

'Cause there's One who is waiting to save you
From this burden that has claimed you
And one touch from His hand can fill your heart
With joy and life again
If you come

And He's waiting
Yes, He's waiting
Oh, He's waiting
For you to come, for you to come

'Cause there's One who is waiting to save you
From this burden that has claimed you
And one touch from His hand can fill your heart
With joy and life again
If you come

If you come
Won't you come
Please, come

Insert odd catch-phrase headline here...

...along with a quote here.

Attn.: For all few of you who read my blog

This post ties in with my last...so if this one leaves you with questions, just read the previous post. I am asking for prayers from those of you who read this. Starting Monday, October 1st (technically...that would be today), I will begin fasting in preparation for Thursday, October 4th when I will spend a good bit of time before God praying for Him to show me what it is He wants me to ask Him (again, if this doesn't make since, read previous post).

I have looked through my daily routine(s) and have decided that my fasting shall include the following changes:

• I will only be allowed 1 hour of time on the computer.
• I will only be allowed 1 hour of time watching television (this includes movies).
• I will only listen to forms of Christian music OR Classical music (I clearly can't control what is played at work, so this can only be applied to what I can control.).
• I will only drink water.
• I will not consume fried, greasy, or fast food.
• I will not consume any chocolate (which has become very much apart of my daily diet...).

What are specifics that you could pray for?

• Perseverance: that I stay focused and constant during these days that I may be able to come before God at the appointed time and be prepared.
• Sensitivity: to the Spirit's moving/God's voice, that I will be able to clearly see/hear and obey.
• Understanding: this is basically the whole reason why I am doing this. I need, and want, to understand what it is that God is wanting me to ask. I believe that this desire He is wanting to reveal to me is very much a life-changing thing, and is very important. I need to understand Him.
• Anything that the Spirit leads you to pray about (especially things that I may have failed to think of and/or mention here).

I plan on setting aside time during Thursday when I will not be available because I will be spending that time in prayer. When those times have been decided I will post them. I do realize that you cannot make God run on your own schedule and that He could reveal whenever He so decides to, but I am setting these times aside so that it is only me and God. After those times, feel free to contact me, whatever.

I do welcome any phone calls, emails, texts, etc.. during this entire process! Please, feel free to call and ask how things are and to check up on me (Accountability! GONNA NEED IT!)!

Well, it's late and I should already have gone to bed, but I couldn't sleep until I posted this.

Until whenever...