"You will seek me and find me..."

"...when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13).

Well, it is finished...for today, at least. Between 1 and 3 p.m. today I spent time with God asking questions and just spending time with him to close out my fast. The following entries are taken from the journal I've been keeping during my quiet times.

1:00 - 3:00 p.m.
I am spending this designated time with God as the closing of my fasting. I want to hear Him. I want a revelation of what desire(s) He would have me ask of Him.
Could He possibly be showing me two desires? But, how can you possibly begin to ask for one thing when you feel/believe you are not ready to ask for it? Is that part of asking for that desire? It would have to be.... You have to give in completely to Him for Him to properly work in you (Journey of Desire, p. 24).

One desire was very obvious to me: To meet God! To have more of Him!

The thought of this desire made me smile and have this giddy feeling course through me...still does.

But, there was a second desire I felt stirring around inside of me...the one I wonder if I'm ready to ask for. I sat and thought about why I am hesitant about this one and was prompted to make a list. This list consists of five fears that keep me from asking for this desire. After writing my list I flipped through the pages of Journey of Desire and read over passages that I had highlighted. I wrote the following:

If I want to meet You, I have to go deep within my heart and search the very depths of my desire(s) (Journey of Desire, p. 35).
As frightening as that sounds, as much heartache and tears it will bring, for however long it will take...it burns a fire of longing to start the journey!

After thinking on this, I went back to my list of fears and began praying over each one. I felt as though I could breathe again! It was amazing how much lighter I felt going before God and confessing these fears and anxieties to Him...

An entire hour went by without me realizing it. It was pretty cool how that happened. By the time I reached 2:30 it finally felt like an hour had gone by.

The evening before I was sitting in my room dorking around on my guitar and from nowhere (but God) came a melody and then words. The first words that came were the beginnings of a praise chorus, and then a second set of words came that were a different type of praise chorus. The second set was more of a song for those burdened with weights we've allowed to claim us in our lives. The second set of words began to grow and soon became a complete song.

I'll be honest, I was shocked (and excited too) because I was hoping that maybe a song would produce itself from this experience, but wasn't positive it would. I wasn't planning on it, merely hoping.

I played this song a few times during my time alone today, not only to keep it fresh in my mind and try to ingrain it in me, but also to use as a tool for myself to worship and draw closer to God.

I was excited about this song. I began to grow impatient with time and wanted very much to share it with one or two people (one who knew about it, one who didn't). So, I called, with thirty minutes left to spare before 3 o'clock, I called. No answer from either person. I had to laugh. It was God telling me, "No. You said from 1 - 3 you were mine, no interruptions/contacts with anyone." And He was right.

I checked my watch at 3:01 and dialed once more. They answered the phone by the second ring. Hahaha! It had to be Him...holding me to my word.

I've decided to post the words of the new song in my post tonight. I am hoping to record it soon and then post it on my Myspace...no telling how long that will take though.

"Come"

All of you with broken hearts, bitter words and battle scars
Come
And, all of you whose love has gone
You cry at night for anyone
Come

'Cause there's One who is waiting to save you
From this burden that has claimed you
And one touch from His hand can fill your heart
With joy and life again
If you come

All of you, old and young, who have traveled down any road alone
Come
And, all of you who are sons and daughters, friends and lovers
Wanting to be discovered
Come

'Cause there's One who is waiting to save you
From this burden that has claimed you
And one touch from His hand can fill your heart
With joy and life again
If you come

And He's waiting
Yes, He's waiting
Oh, He's waiting
For you to come, for you to come

'Cause there's One who is waiting to save you
From this burden that has claimed you
And one touch from His hand can fill your heart
With joy and life again
If you come

If you come
Won't you come
Please, come