"Obstacles are put in your way..."

"...to see if what you want is worth fighting for."

Hello children!

It is indeed another glorious day, mainly because I'm off work again tomorrow... Woo to the HOO!

I finished Captivating and, yes, I do recommend it to any one of the female persuasion 21 and up. In one of the chapters they talk about putting on the armor of God and also mention a friend who, every morning, prays on her armor when she is getting ready for her day. That struck me as odd. I'd never heard it put like that before. Thought it was cool because it was a part of her routine in getting ready, like she was putting her clothes on, brushing her teeth, etc.. Then I also got to thinking, "How exactly do you do that? How do you put on the armor of God?"

Well, I got to asking God how you do that and I decided that I would start with reading the passage and go from there. So, the other day I read the passage (Eph. 6:10-18) and then broke it down piece by piece. This is what I came up with:

Armor:

1. Belt of truth (v.14)
2. Breastplate of righteousness (v.14)
3. Feet fitted with readiness [shoes?] (v.15)
4. Shield of faith (v.16)
5. Helmet of salvation (v.17)
6. Sword of the Spirit [Word of God] (v.17)

What do each of these do?

1. Belts: (In war) hold extra ammunition and other supplies that you need to survive out on the battlefront. (In everyday) they keep your pants in place so you have less difficulty walking and less distraction from having to keep pulling them up.
2. Breastplates: protect your chest area (heart, lungs, ribs, stomach) from getting injured.
3. Shoes: protect your feet while walking; make it easier to endure walking/running.
4. Shields: protect you against things thrown at you; they block things.
5. Helmets: protect your head; your brain.
6. Swords: a weapon. If properly wielded it can be very powerful to the user and dangerous to anyone on the other end.

How are these specific pieces to protect me?

1. Belt of truth: It is what holds all the promises of God that are for my life; truths He has spoken to me, for me. These are promises I can hold on to and not doubt.
2. Breastplate of righteousness: It protects my heart from evil, human, desires; attacks against my heart that [should] desire the Spirit of God and His desires.
3. Feet fitted with readiness [shoes?]: A willingness to go when and where God leads/directs. A readiness to say, "Yes, Lord," when He tells me to follow and to trust Him.
4. Shield of faith: Faith that is strong can/will defend you from evil attacks. A strong faith cannot/will not waver. A strong faith is essential in battle!
5. Helmet of Salvation: [I had trouble with this one and I still do. I don't understand how a helmet and salvation go hand-in-hand.] Salvation is what drives you to keep going? Knowing is half the battle? Knowing, not just in your heart, but also in your mind?
6. Sword of the Spirit: It is useless if you don't familiarize yourself with it. Constant practice, make it another extension of your body.

Then, you come to v.18:

"And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the saints."

Soldiers have to stay alert to all their surroundings, if they do not they are more likely to fall into a trap. Not only are they to watch their own back, but also the backs of their fellow soldiers so that they too can stay out of the enemies snares.
Like soldiers, we have to be constantly aware of the dangers around us, the traps that lie waiting for us. We have to constantly pray in the Spirit so that we are in communication with God and so that our focus is on Him. We also need to pray for fellow believers so that they too will have an awareness of their surroundings, and also that they have another intercessor praying on their behalf; outside eyes see more.


After breaking this passage down I have finally been able to gain a better grasp on the whole putting on your armor. I can now actually appreciate this passage a lot more too!

The End.

"You will seek me and find me..."

"...when you seek me with all your heart" (Jer. 29:13).

Well, it is finished...for today, at least. Between 1 and 3 p.m. today I spent time with God asking questions and just spending time with him to close out my fast. The following entries are taken from the journal I've been keeping during my quiet times.

1:00 - 3:00 p.m.
I am spending this designated time with God as the closing of my fasting. I want to hear Him. I want a revelation of what desire(s) He would have me ask of Him.
Could He possibly be showing me two desires? But, how can you possibly begin to ask for one thing when you feel/believe you are not ready to ask for it? Is that part of asking for that desire? It would have to be.... You have to give in completely to Him for Him to properly work in you (Journey of Desire, p. 24).

One desire was very obvious to me: To meet God! To have more of Him!

The thought of this desire made me smile and have this giddy feeling course through me...still does.

But, there was a second desire I felt stirring around inside of me...the one I wonder if I'm ready to ask for. I sat and thought about why I am hesitant about this one and was prompted to make a list. This list consists of five fears that keep me from asking for this desire. After writing my list I flipped through the pages of Journey of Desire and read over passages that I had highlighted. I wrote the following:

If I want to meet You, I have to go deep within my heart and search the very depths of my desire(s) (Journey of Desire, p. 35).
As frightening as that sounds, as much heartache and tears it will bring, for however long it will take...it burns a fire of longing to start the journey!

After thinking on this, I went back to my list of fears and began praying over each one. I felt as though I could breathe again! It was amazing how much lighter I felt going before God and confessing these fears and anxieties to Him...

An entire hour went by without me realizing it. It was pretty cool how that happened. By the time I reached 2:30 it finally felt like an hour had gone by.

The evening before I was sitting in my room dorking around on my guitar and from nowhere (but God) came a melody and then words. The first words that came were the beginnings of a praise chorus, and then a second set of words came that were a different type of praise chorus. The second set was more of a song for those burdened with weights we've allowed to claim us in our lives. The second set of words began to grow and soon became a complete song.

I'll be honest, I was shocked (and excited too) because I was hoping that maybe a song would produce itself from this experience, but wasn't positive it would. I wasn't planning on it, merely hoping.

I played this song a few times during my time alone today, not only to keep it fresh in my mind and try to ingrain it in me, but also to use as a tool for myself to worship and draw closer to God.

I was excited about this song. I began to grow impatient with time and wanted very much to share it with one or two people (one who knew about it, one who didn't). So, I called, with thirty minutes left to spare before 3 o'clock, I called. No answer from either person. I had to laugh. It was God telling me, "No. You said from 1 - 3 you were mine, no interruptions/contacts with anyone." And He was right.

I checked my watch at 3:01 and dialed once more. They answered the phone by the second ring. Hahaha! It had to be Him...holding me to my word.

I've decided to post the words of the new song in my post tonight. I am hoping to record it soon and then post it on my Myspace...no telling how long that will take though.

"Come"

All of you with broken hearts, bitter words and battle scars
Come
And, all of you whose love has gone
You cry at night for anyone
Come

'Cause there's One who is waiting to save you
From this burden that has claimed you
And one touch from His hand can fill your heart
With joy and life again
If you come

All of you, old and young, who have traveled down any road alone
Come
And, all of you who are sons and daughters, friends and lovers
Wanting to be discovered
Come

'Cause there's One who is waiting to save you
From this burden that has claimed you
And one touch from His hand can fill your heart
With joy and life again
If you come

And He's waiting
Yes, He's waiting
Oh, He's waiting
For you to come, for you to come

'Cause there's One who is waiting to save you
From this burden that has claimed you
And one touch from His hand can fill your heart
With joy and life again
If you come

If you come
Won't you come
Please, come

Insert odd catch-phrase headline here...

...along with a quote here.

Attn.: For all few of you who read my blog

This post ties in with my last...so if this one leaves you with questions, just read the previous post. I am asking for prayers from those of you who read this. Starting Monday, October 1st (technically...that would be today), I will begin fasting in preparation for Thursday, October 4th when I will spend a good bit of time before God praying for Him to show me what it is He wants me to ask Him (again, if this doesn't make since, read previous post).

I have looked through my daily routine(s) and have decided that my fasting shall include the following changes:

• I will only be allowed 1 hour of time on the computer.
• I will only be allowed 1 hour of time watching television (this includes movies).
• I will only listen to forms of Christian music OR Classical music (I clearly can't control what is played at work, so this can only be applied to what I can control.).
• I will only drink water.
• I will not consume fried, greasy, or fast food.
• I will not consume any chocolate (which has become very much apart of my daily diet...).

What are specifics that you could pray for?

• Perseverance: that I stay focused and constant during these days that I may be able to come before God at the appointed time and be prepared.
• Sensitivity: to the Spirit's moving/God's voice, that I will be able to clearly see/hear and obey.
• Understanding: this is basically the whole reason why I am doing this. I need, and want, to understand what it is that God is wanting me to ask. I believe that this desire He is wanting to reveal to me is very much a life-changing thing, and is very important. I need to understand Him.
• Anything that the Spirit leads you to pray about (especially things that I may have failed to think of and/or mention here).

I plan on setting aside time during Thursday when I will not be available because I will be spending that time in prayer. When those times have been decided I will post them. I do realize that you cannot make God run on your own schedule and that He could reveal whenever He so decides to, but I am setting these times aside so that it is only me and God. After those times, feel free to contact me, whatever.

I do welcome any phone calls, emails, texts, etc.. during this entire process! Please, feel free to call and ask how things are and to check up on me (Accountability! GONNA NEED IT!)!

Well, it's late and I should already have gone to bed, but I couldn't sleep until I posted this.

Until whenever...

"The Journey Starts Now."

"...because I refuse to be in this place any longer."

Hello children! It has been forever and a day long time since I've posted...and boy, do I ever have a happy-so-very-happy post for you... You ready? 'Cause here we go.

I had been talking on the phone with a friend a week or so ago, and was asked if I had been spending any time with God lately/regular basis. I told them that, no, I wasn't because I would think about it and then become side-tracked with something else (very typical). And the response I got was, "You've got to make time. You've got to do it."

Sept. 19, 2007: I have finished taking a shower and am getting ready to go to lunch with a friend of mine, and I looked out the open window in the bathroom and thought, "I should go sit on the deck and spend some time with God...right now." I felt as if something were calling me outside. So, I did. I got outside and sat on the swing, placed my Bible, pen and notebook in my lap and just looked around and enjoyed the beautiful weather. Inside my head I asked God to show me/tell me what He needed me to hear right then and for this time in my life. For some reason, while I was still talking to Him, the passage of John 14 flashed in my mind. So, in response I wrote it down and told God that if that was just something I made up and it wasn't really what He wanted me to read to let me know. No other passage came to mind, so...I read it.

If you love me, you will obey what I command.... Whoever has my commands and obeys them, he is the one who loves me. He who loves me will be loved by my Father, and I too will love him and show myself to him (vv. 15 and 21).

And I will do whatever you ask in my name, so that the Son may bring glory to the Father. You may ask me for anything in my name, and I will do it (vv. 13-14).

After reading and highlighting those verses, I wrote notes to myself to find out what Christ's commandments to his disciples (and to us) were and begin to apply them to my life and obey Him and also to search within my heart and pray that my True desires would be surfaced so that I wasn't asking for petty things; I wanted Truth.

Later that evening I started reading Captivating, by John and Stasi Eldredge. It is, for those of you living in a cave, the female version of Wild at Heart. And its main focus is on the female heart and its...you've guessed it, desire(s).


Sept. 20, 2007: I do the same thing as the day before. I take a break from getting ready for work and go sit on the swing on the back porch. Bible, pen and notebook in hand I sit and ask the same thing I did the previous day, "God, show me what You need me to hear/know."

John 13 and 15.

I am the true vine, and my Father is the gardener. He cuts off every branch in me that bears no fruit, while every branch that does bear fruit he prunes so that it will be even more fruitful.... Remain in me, and I will remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine. Neither can you bear fruit unless you remain in me (15:1-2, 4).

Both chapters talked about the commands Christ gave to the disciples: love (13:34; 15:12-13, 17).


I didn't go back out to the back porch again until the 26th, and when I did I asked God the same thing and then wrote a note for myself that said, "What are your heart's TRUE desires? Find them. You HAVE to..."

I was given Romans 8.

Those who live according to the sinful nature have their minds set on what the nature desires; but those who live in accordance with the Spirit have minds set on what the Spirit desires. The mind of a sinful man is death, but the mind controlled by the Spirit is life and peace; the sinful mind is hostile to God. It does not submit to God's law, nor can it do so. Those controlled by the sinful nature cannot please God (vv.5-8).

I then asked God to help me sort through my passions/desires/longings. I asked Him to help me to separate what is a sinful desire and what is a Spirit desire. I need Him to show me what I need.


Sept. 28, 2007: I sit outside. I have my Bible, my pen and my notebook. I ask God the same thing.

Jeremiah 29. I am a bit skeptical about this passage because I know I've seen it used in Captivating, and I think that may have something to do with it.

You will seek me and find me when you seek me with all your heart. I will be found by you, declares the LORD (vv. 13-14a).

It is the same verse they used in Captivating. I am pretty sure it is being repeated to me for a reason...especially when I am wanting to seek God and get back to a healthy and stable relationship with Him.

Jeremiah wasn't enough for me. I was beginning to crave more, especially since I had noticed a pattern with desire, but I didn't see the word desire mentioned in Jer. 29. I asked for more.

James 4.

The word desire is mentioned in James 4:1!

You do not have, because you do not ask God. When you ask, you do not receive, because you ask with wrong motives, that you may spend what you get on your pleasures (vv. 2c-3).

The next thing I asked God was what He would have me ask of Him. What desire would He have surface in my heart, what True desire, that I should call upon Him to grant me to have.


So, the question I now ask is: HOW FREAKIN' AMAZING AND AWESOME IS GOD?!?!? SERIOUSLY!!!

I mean,...

Speechless. I got nothing.